As you guys can probably tell by the title, this post is going to be a tad bit... sad.
Now I have always thought cancer sucked but recently, and more personal, it has gone from a little thought in the back of my mind to (semi) front and center. It sucks horrendously when you get told that someone close to you has cancer. You feel like a hole has began to start in your heart and you just want to cry. You can't even begin to imagine how the person feels.
I can remember when I got told they had cancer. My heart broke. What if something happens and I lose them forever? I bawled when my dog died, how am I going to react if they die!? Deep down, I know that they found in early enough to do something about it, and they were going to. They got the best doctor and surgeon, got through radiation and chemo, but to see them so weak... And I couldn't do anything about it. That doesn't sit well with me. I need to help people if they are hurt and injured. I can't just sit by and not do anything. But that's that what I had to do. I had to sit on the sidelines and wait...
Everything went down and they got the results back... The cancer was defeated. They fought cancer and won. Knowing that was a huge relief, and I thought that was it. I wouldn't have to feel that way ever again. They would get check-ups but they were positive.
Then it happened again to someone else I cared for... And I felt like I was in this cycle all over again. Although their case is slightly different and was caught a little bit earlier, it still brings on the same onslaught of tears and pain. But when asked, they say they feel fine, and okay... I know they are just trying to be strong but hearing that is a little bit of relief. They aren't in pain and everything is being checked on over and over again. They'll get through surgery and then we'll be able to tell if what they have is extreme enough to warrant chemo or not.
I know I shouldn't think the worst, but there is always a part of you that grieves already as though you have already lost. Because as humans, death is so natural and such a common occurrence, that that's where our souls go. And we need to change that.
It sucks that even the healthiest person can get sick, and there isn't really anything you can do to prevent it but if worst comes to worst, we need to take a stand. There are so many people out there who have cancer or have family members or friends that have it, and at that moment when you get that kind of news, you realize two things. 1) How alone you can be and 2) How many people care for you to the end of the Earth. We need to not focus on the bad things, but the good things. That we have medicine that can cure it. That we have family members and friends who would gladly give bone marrow if a match and you need it. That we have people who will wait at the hospital with you the entire time; who will hold your hand when you need strength; who will let you cry on their shoulders when you need to; and who will be your rock.
I can only write from one viewpoint. I don't know what it is like to have cancer or to have had cancer. I do know what it's like to be close to someone who has and has had it. So I encourage all of you my lovely readers, if you're going through a tough time, whether it be cancer or some other sickness, find a friend. Because sometimes all we need is that one person to hold onto to make it feel like we are not drowning.
"If it scares you, it might be a good thing..."