Acceptance. Rejuvenation. Adaptation. Trepidation...
Trepidation (n): 1. tremulous fear, alarm, or agitation; perturbation.
2. trembling or quivering movement; tremor.
As I sit down to type this out, I don't think it really has hit me that I've been doing this for 4 years. Even though this past year was rather slow on this site, it still sat in my heart and I still tried to create content. And I think that's why trepidation is absolutely perfect for this year...
I felt fear quite a lot this year - new job, interviews, unsureness of where I was going to live, infections. Agitation was also a heavy component of this past year - a job that I hated, not knowing what was going with my body, feeling like I wasn't doing all that I could be doing.
Despite the fear and agitation that came with the bad, the trepidation also kept me going. It was the feeling of finally hitting 1K followers, of hosting my first every giveaway, of being part of a blogger meet-up, of hitting my subscriber goal before the end of the year. It reminded me of the feeling right before you free fall into a lake or off of a cliff. It's the feeling of "oh, oh, should I go? I'm going to go" and then taking a running leap and jumping.
This past year of blogger has felt like a lot of that. A lot of uncertainty. Of fear. Of agitation. But also, how can I be better?
Going into this next year, I'm going to write down a check list of what I want to happen with this blog and my YouTube channel. And on December 29, 2019 when I hit that 5 year mark, I want to see how far I've come because I am not stopping anytime soon.
Happy Birthday Modernly Mik...
"If it scares you, it might be a good thing..."