“You could never pull that off.” “You’re not actually wearing that… Are you?” "Can you please stop being weird!"
Statements that use to hurt me. That use to cut deep inside.
Now, these are statements that make me want to laugh and channel my Southern hospitality sarcasm and just smile at the person telling me that.
When I was younger, I had a horrible perception of my own body. I was too fat, my arms weren’t toned, my thighs jiggled too much when I ran, the double chin arrived when I actually wanted to full on laugh. All of this and more ran through my head every morning as I got ready for school. I was afraid to dress the way I wanted to dress because of what I thought people would say to me.
My friends were skinnier than me or had better skin. I could never amount up to them. They had the boyfriends and the designer clothes. I had the dog and knock-off brands. I wanted to wear that new dress that I bought but couldn’t because it didn’t cover my stomach or it was strapless so my arm fat would show.
I could never truly act like myself because I had this insane mindset that I wanted to be cool and loved by everyone. As I grew up, I hid my true self-the one who loves Marvel movies and cannot stop singing or referencing Broadway plays.
I was so afraid of what other people thought of me that I didn’t even stop to think about what I thought about myself. I tried diets and exercising and hiding behind this fake persona because I wanted to be like them.
Now, I want to be me. The journey to get to the mindset I am today wasn’t easy nor can I guarantee to y’all it will work the same way.
It took me a little while to realize that my mind, body and soul is me, and God made me so uniquely and that to hate it, is to hate his creation. Sure, my arms could not jiggle or puff out when trapped by straps, my thighs could be a tad bit more toned, my stomach could be skinnier and my skin could be clearer. A lot of things could be better with my body, but after sitting back and just thinking about it, I had come to a realization that I am me.
My arms were made to be comfortable for my younger siblings to fall asleep on. My stomach is where my little brother rests his head after playing outside. My skin was made to not be perfect to show my little sister that it is okay to have flaws, it builds character. I am weird and geeky because sometimes the weird geeky girls are the greatest people to be friends with.
Once I stopped thinking about how I wish others saw me, I became a better person because I dressed and acted for me. I stopped worrying about if my “fat” was showing or if my thighs needed to be covered a bit more. I stopped trying to hide my show tunes under a false playlist on iTunes. I became comfortable in my own body.
Crazy thought right? A young lady in today’s society actually being comfortable with her weight and herself amidst all the fake tans, botox, diet plans and photoshop.
Maybe that’s why I am so adamant about this. With today’s society claiming that women aren’t beautiful unless they’re clad in skimpy clothes or with a ton of make-up on their face, I want to be one of many that stand up and say “No!”
They are lying. You are beautiful just the way you are, as cliche as putting Bruno Mars lyrics into this post.
Be that one person to take stand. After-all, they say all it takes is a spark to start a fire. Let us be part of the generation that does not make beauty about appearance. Lets make it about being comfortable in our own skin.
Until next time lovelies,
There is nothing more grander than being yourself...
"If it scares you, it might be a good thing..."