My name is Mikayla and if you’re reading this, then you probably know that this is my blog, my little slice of the internet that I can be me. If you don’t know who I am and found this because of a hashtag, a friend or someone else thought you might enjoy it, WELCOME TO MY BLOG!
Modernly Mik (originally Sweet Tea & Storms) was created as a passion project of mine, before I even really knew what a passion project was. I wanted a space to be mine, and I wanted it to be a safe haven for not only me, but others as well. I wanted a place where I could geek out and fangirl, but also share personal tales and tips. And I think as I grew a little, I turned away from that a bit because I wanted it to be big, or I wanted to make a name for myself.
Which I guess is where this series, “Unapologetically Me” comes in. I wanted to find myself again and in a way I did. Through a series of events (mentioned in the first ever post of Unapologetically Me), I found what I wanted to do and what I wanted to accomplish. So I thought I would kick off this series by telling you why I am unapologetically me.
I can remember a time when I was scared to do anything by myself or for myself. I wanted to be part of the “cool” crowd and did what everyone else was doing. I wanted to be a popular person and I can remember trying so hard to fit in that I lost myself along the way. I copied trends and made myself out to be someone who I was definitely not. I wore girlier clothes because someone close to me said “you should start dressing more like a girl” so I did. I was uncomfortable but I did it, because I wanted to be liked. I tried (and failed) to quit soccer because how was I ever going to be popular playing a sport no one really cared about? Plot twist: our high school soccer team actually did a lot better than our football team most seasons.
I wanted so bad to be someone I wasn’t and it took me a long time to realize that being me is what I am best at.
So what does being unapologetically you actually mean? Well for me, it means that you basically don’t give a damn about what people think of you. It means you talk about what you want (especially when it comes your own space i.e. this blog or my YouTube channel), it means that you get to be you, without fear of being judged. It means watching those goofy people on YouTube or that TV show you hid from your family. It means scrolling through Tumblr, Instagram and Pinterest aimlessly. Being unapologetically me means no more hiding who I am or what I like. It’s saying “hey, I’m a geek but I love it!”
Being unapologetically you means to me that you stop trying to impress the “popular” crowd, and you hang out with your friends, despite whoever they be (either IRL or online). It means being unashamed of what you like, or who you like. It’s learning that going with the flow might not always be where you’re supposed to be and that sometimes you have to be the rock in the hard place.
I’m going to talk unapologetically about my own mental health, about the mental health stigma and everything in between that has to do it with because I refuse to stay silent. This comes after almost 8 and half years of hiding my own mental illnesses because I was ashamed. Ashamed of a disease… Ashamed that sometimes my mind wasn’t in the right place. Ashamed that I even needed help in the first place.
I am going to fangirl, loudly, over things and people I love. I am going to sing and dance in my car so loud with my windows down because one: my AC still doesn’t work (sorry mom) and two: I don’t really care who sees me.
I am going to write what I want, when I want because I love writing but I’ve been hindered by what I think people would want to read or see.
So this is me, being completely unapologetically me. I am so excited as I continue this series and my hope for it is that others will feel safe and open to sharing their journeys.
Thank you for letting me be myself…
Until next time lovelies,
"If it scares you, it might be a good thing..."